75 Inner Child Questions to Ask Clients in Therapy Sessions

Inner Child Therapy can help clients reconnect with the child they once were. It’s common for people to lose touch with this part of themselves as they grow older. In my work, I use this approach to help clients release inner child parts that are tied to unhealthy emotional and behavioral patterns. Keep reading to see 75 inner child questions I often use in sessions.

I find this approach can be particularly impactful because clients often respond with more compassion and patience when they envision themselves speaking to a child rather than an adult. Many clients describe feeling empowered when given the opportunity to nurture and heal aspects of themselves that trace back to childhood. In my experience, automatic thoughts and long-standing beliefs about themselves, others, and the world often originate in early experiences, and addressing these can be crucial for improving mental health.

Inner Child Therapy can benefit clients with a variety of mental health concerns, including anxiety, depression, substance use, self-harm behaviors, disordered eating, low self-esteem, and trauma-related difficulties. I often combine this approach with other therapeutic interventions for a more comprehensive treatment plan. Through inner child work, clients can increase awareness of how unmet childhood needs impact current symptoms and develop skills that strengthen emotion regulation, resilience, and self-compassion. For more resources, read my guide on creating an inner child treatment plan or inner child therapy exercises to do with clients.

Getting Ready for Your First Inner Child Session with a New Client

When you’re preparing to meet with your client for their first inner child therapy session, I encourage you to spend time reviewing the documentation that you have received so far. This can include referral paperwork, self-assessments, and in some cases, comprehensive assessments completed by colleagues.

Your first session will focus on building therapeutic rapport and understanding their presenting concerns and goals for treatment. You can use your time to introduce your client to inner child therapy and help them see how this approach could support their recovery. You may also find it helpful to organize resources before your session that could easily be incorporated into your work. This can include a range of customizable worksheets available with TherapyByPro. We encourage you to review available worksheets, including:

• Confronting Defenses for Inner Child Healing Worksheet
• Inner Child Worksheet Bundle
• Childhood Emotional Abuse Assessment Worksheet
• Re-Parenting Yourself Inner Child Role-Playing Script
• Letter to My Younger Self Inner Child Worksheet   

What Inner Child Questions Should I Ask In Sessions?

Inner child work questions can be tailored to your client and their presenting concern. You may find yourself focusing on a specific time in their life or an event that they experienced. This can include core memories, safety, needs, boundaries, parent-child dynamics, play, trauma, and abuse. Examples of inner child questions that you can incorporate into your sessions include:

1. Can you tell me about your earliest childhood memory?
2. Is there a memory about your childhood that feels the strongest for you?
3. How would you describe yourself as a child?
4. Can you tell me about your favorite activity or hobby as a child?
5. Is there someone you had in your life who made you feel seen and heard as a child?
6. How would you describe your relationship with your parents/guardians/caregivers?
7. Did you have a comfort item as a child, like a blanket or stuffed animal?
8. Did you feel safe to cry openly as a child?
9. What were your experiences with anger?
10. Was there someone in your life whom you would turn to for comfort?
11. Was there someone in your life who made you feel as though you needed to hide your feelings?
12. What were some of the coping skills that you used as a child?
13. Would you say that your basic needs were continually met? This includes things like having food, shelter, and love.
14. Do you feel as though you were emotionally cared for?
15. Can you think of a need that was unmet in childhood? Even if it was fulfilled sometimes?
16. Who showed up for you when you needed support?
17. Was there anyone in your life who did not show up for you?
18. How did the adult in your life respond when you were scared or sick?
19. Was there a form of affection that you wanted more of, that you didn’t receive?
20. Would you say that you were encouraged to ask for help when you needed it?
21. Did you feel safe to say no as a child?
22. Would you say that the adults in your life respected your boundaries growing up?
23. Can you tell me what privacy looked like for you as a child?
24. Did you feel like your opinions were taken into consideration for decisions that affected you?
25. Can you tell me about what helped you learn right from wrong?
26. Do you feel as though you were able to be yourself as a child, or were you pressured to fit into a mold?
27. Can you tell me about what independence looked like in your family?
28. How did your family perceive differences in each other?
29. Were you ever told to “go along with it” when something didn’t feel right for you?
30.   Did you feel like you had control over your body? Things like what you could wear, how your hair was done, etc.
31. Was there something that you felt criticized for, often growing up?
32. Do you feel like you were compared to other kids? Like siblings, cousins, or friends?
33. Did you ever feel like you were “too much” or “not enough”?
34. What were some of the beliefs that you had about yourself back then?
35. Do you feel like you only received praise when you accomplished something?
36. How was failure handled growing up?
37. Did you feel safe to make mistakes?
38. Do you remember feeling like you had to be perfect?
39. Was there a time when you felt as though you were a burden to those around you?
40. Did you feel close emotionally to your parents/guardians/caregivers?
41. Did the adults in your life apologize to you when they were wrong or made a mistake?
42. Do you feel as though the adults in your life modeled healthy relationships?
43. Looking back now, do you feel as though the adults in your life utilized healthy coping skills for their own emotions?
44. Did you feel protected as a child?
45. Do you feel as though the adults in your life were emotionally available to you when you needed them to be?
46. Did you ever feel as though you needed to try and “fix” wrong things?
47. Can you tell me about what made you laugh as a child?
48. What are some of the strongest memories you have about playing as a child?
49. Was there a particular game or book that you enjoyed?
50. How did you use your imagination?
51. Were you creative as a child?
52. Do you enjoy some of the same activities and hobbies now?
53. Was there anything that you experienced as a child that was overwhelming to you?
54. Was there a time in your childhood when you were bullied or mistreated by peers?
55.   Did you experience any significant losses or separations during childhood that had a strong impact on you?
56. Was there a time when someone violated your trust or safety?
57. Who disappointed you the most in your childhood?
58. Has there been a time in your life when you experienced abuse or neglect?
59. Have you ever felt as though your world was turned upside down?
60. Do you feel that the punishments you received as a child were fair?
61. Can you tell me what being “strong” looked like as a child?
62. Were there any secrets you had as a child?
63. Can you tell me about childhood wounds that are still unresolved?
64. What would it be like for you to now provide comfort to the child within you?
65. What do you think the child in you would want you to do for fun?
66. What would healing your inner child look like?
67. Is there a part of your childhood that you would like to relive?
68. What would unconditional love have looked like when you were a child?
69. Can you think of a small change or action that you can take to nurture your child within?
70. How do you think that your childhood affects your experiences today?
71. Can you tell me how you handle vulnerability today?
72. Is there a part of your inner child that sneaks into your adult decisions?
73. Can you tell me about how you judge yourself as an adult?
74. How would healing your inner child affect your future?
75. Can you tell me who in your life supports you?

Final Thoughts On Asking the Right Inner Child Work Questions in Sessions

I hope this article has given you ideas for questions to ask your clients’ inner child, or ways to integrate these questions into your clinical practice. In my experience, Inner Child Therapy is a valuable approach, particularly in trauma-informed settings. When used thoughtfully, it can help clients heal unresolved childhood wounds, increase self-awareness, and cultivate self-compassion. I’ve found that clients often also gain improved emotion regulation and stronger connections in their current relationships.

I often integrate inner child work alongside other approaches such as Internal Family Systems (IFS), Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Somatic Experiencing, and body-centered therapies. If you’re interested in deepening your own practice, I encourage exploring training and continuing education opportunities in Inner Child Therapy to see how it can best fit within your clinical niche.

View all of our Inner Child Worksheets

Resources:

• Hestbech, A. M. (2018). Reclaiming the Inner Child in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: The Complementary Model of the Personality. American Journal of Psychotherapy, 71(1), 21–27. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.psychotherapy.20180008