DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Worksheet: Communication & Relationship Skills Rating Scale

This DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Worksheet guides clients through an extensive three-page self-assessment featuring over 45 distinct interpersonal skills. Using a 1-to-10 Likert scale, clients rate their proficiency in categories ranging from basic communication (eye contact, waiting for replies) to complex emotional management (dealing with anger appropriately, not taking things personally). The audit covers essential DBT themes including “DEAR MAN” (assertiveness), “GIVE” (showing interest and empathy), and “FAST” (maintaining cool and self-confidence). By requiring a granular rating of each behavior, the tool helps clients move past vague feelings of social inadequacy to identify the exact moments where their communication becomes less effective.

The structured layout is organized to provide a clear visual representation of a client’s social strengths and weaknesses. By identifying areas that are “Always Great” alongside those that are “Very Poor,” the worksheet fosters a balanced perspective and provides the “raw data” necessary for prioritizing modules in skills training groups or individual therapy sessions.

How This Worksheet Can Be Used

Clinical Intake and Assessment:
Therapists use the worksheet during the early stages of treatment to establish a baseline for social functioning. It helps the clinician identify which interpersonal effectiveness skills (Objective, Relationship, or Self-Respect) require the most immediate attention in the treatment plan.

Progress Monitoring:
Clients can revisit the worksheet periodically throughout the 24-week DBT cycle. Comparing “before and after” ratings provides tangible evidence of behavioral growth, which is vital for increasing clinical self-efficacy and motivation.

Individual Therapy Agenda Setting:
When a client reports an interpersonal “slip” or conflict, the therapist can refer back to the worksheet to see if the problem relates to a previously identified skill deficit, such as “disclosing too much information” or “struggling with silence.”

Benefits of the DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Worksheet

• Provides a comprehensive 45-point audit of interpersonal, emotional, and non-verbal social skills.
• Identifies specific skill deficits that contribute to social anxiety and relationship instability.
• Supports the DBT goal of “effectiveness” by quantifying subjective social abilities.
• Covers core interpersonal themes including assertiveness, empathy, conflict resolution, and self-confidence.
• Reduces global self-judgment by breaking “social skill” down into manageable, teachable behaviors.
• Facilitates a collaborative, data-driven approach to treatment planning and goal setting.

Integrating This Tool into Clinical Work

Integrating the DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Worksheet is most effective when clinicians emphasize that these are “skills,” not “personality traits.” Clinicians should guide clients to view their lower scores as “targets for practice” rather than “personal failures.” It is often helpful to have the client pick their “Top 3” improvement areas after completing the audit. For example, if a client rates themselves low on “Saying no,” the therapist can immediately pivot to teaching the FAST or DEAR MAN skills. When reviewing higher scores, the clinician should reinforce these as “resiliency factors” the client can lean on while learning new behaviors. By consistently using this worksheet as a clinical anchor, the therapist helps the client develop the social “Wise Mind” necessary for authentic, effective, and stable living.

References

• Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
• Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. Guilford Press.
• Koerner, K. (2012). Doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A Practical Guide. Guilford Press.
• Fruitman, K., & Chapman, A. L. (2013). The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anger. New Harbinger Publications.